Good Bye John Terry

It was a sad day for Premier League fans around the world, John Terry announced his official retirement. The same cannot be said for the countless footballers who have had their wives shagged by the Chelsea legend, they are truly ecstatic that he will no longer have the opportunity to stick it to their missus’.


Now by no means am I a Chelsea, in fact Chelsea sucks, and even I can admit that John Terry is a goddamn Premier League legend. The man was a defensive stalwart in the back at the Blues for countless of seasons. He broke out for the London squad in the 2001-2002 season and never looked back. He became captain under the squad during Jose Mourinho’s first stint with the Blues and it could be seen that he was a natural born leader. Terry was irreplaceable as a center back year after year and his consistency helped the London club lift numerous trophies during his time. Terry was constantly sought after by clubs with large bank accounts and football lore but he never wavered in his love for Chelsea. I would say he is a one-club man but the year at Aston Villa changed all of that. The man just wanted to play some more football and unfortunately he was shown the door.


Terry always gave his all for Chelsea. He was kicked in the face and knocked against Arsenal…he was attempting to block a shot, on the ground, with his face. If that does not say all you need to know about the kind of player John Terry was then you are lost. He was voted best defender in the Champions League in 2004-2005, that is an incredible feat during a time where all of the Italian stalwarts and a young Ramos were wreaking havoc on forwards. He won it all at Chelsea; Five Premier League Titles, 3 FA Cups, 3 League Cups, 1 Europa League, and 1 Champions League. There is nothing more a footballer could ask for from a club career than that. He was a Blue through and through and he will go down as a Premier League legend.


All of that being said, John Terry was a fucking asshole on and off of the pitch. Let us go through the list of fines he received during his time.


  1. Charged with Assault and Affray, Acquitted
  2. Fined Two Weeks Wages for making fun of Americans after the 9/11 Attacks
  3. Inappropriate match conduct towards Official, 2006
  4. Racial Abuse v. Anton Ferdinand, Four match ban
  5. Affair Allegations with Wayne Bridge Wife
    1. Stripped of Captaincy
  6. Accused of Taking money from Reporter at Training Ground, 2009


It is Mr.StealYoGirl in action right here what you thinkin Diego ^^

Safe to say maybe the not the best guy, and probably an asshole. But man will we miss him. He was breed of defender that you do not come by anymore. He was a tough, hard-tackling, do what it takes to win defender who would lay down his life for his club team and his country team. Terry embodied the rough style of Two Foot Talk, did he take it over the edge of occasions? 100%, but damn was he fun to watch. The man came in and stopped a penalty, in an actual game! That is completely absurd.

Kudos to you John Terry, I am positive we will see you managing a squad soon enough, and I cannot wait for the sideline antics you will provide. Expect to see touchline bans, possible head butts, accusations of looking at his players wives’, the whole nine yards. We will cherish every second of it.


Chat shit with Ty Bond on twitter @tybond16.

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