Where Is Eden Hazard?

Attention mi Madristas now this blog is obviously really premature but I am almost hoping for a reverse effect from it. I am pretty much going to keep stating this until he proves me wrong, and I really hope he does prove me wrong. However for now I am just sitting here angry thinking about investments that could of been.

We have a f*cking AMBER ALERT!


We have a missing Belgian at the Bernabeu, 5 foot 9 inches, brown hair, clean fade, little bit of a gut. He recently arrived from London for about 110 million and I haven’t seen him since besides when I play Fifa 20.

Now I know what you are thinking “But, its only 7 games into the season you are overreacting.” BLAH BLAH BLAH. This isn’t some 22 year old that we are hoping is the next wave for our club. This is a 29 year old talisman that we took from Chelsea where he was perfectly happy being above average and getting overhyped. I mean besides preseaon this man has absolutely no stats for Madrid. After a short injury spell at the very beginning of the season he has come into the side and done absolutely NOTHING.


After 270 minutes through Champions League and La Liga Eden Hazard who had his career best in goals and assists just 4 months again in England the self proclaimed best league in the world, he has absolutely no stats. Now the Hazard hardos will say “Oh look at his take ons, look at his chances created, he opens up so much space just being a threat.” First of all shut the hell up all of those stats were made for midfielders so people could understand they were actually doing something. Second Hazard only has 4 successful dribbles…. he is 57% in dribbling which is where he is compared to Lionel Messi. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. His best stat is tackling where he is 1/1.


It honestly makes me sick to my stomach because all of Hazard’s best qualities as a player (which he has not even shown us at all) are nothing that Madrid really needed. This is the Courtois transfer all over again…. my question is just why? Real Madrid were in desperate need of a goalscorer and Karim Benzema is still the only real goal option we got besides diving into youth. So explain to me why buying Eden Hazard at a ridiculously inflated price helps us get our goals. The fact that he isn’t performing doesn’t even shock me is the worst part I think what bothers me the most is that all of that money could of went into Pogba or Mbappe, but instead we buy this 29 year old that is going to be impossible to sell at the same value. Just one of the stupidest purchases I saw from Madrid since our last North London buy.


What makes it worse is that before the Madrid derby Zidane called to him saying things along the lines of we haven’t gotten the full strength Hazard and how we will need him for this match. I mean he was a ghost, he looks unconfident, he is not driving at players, he isn’t getting shots off, he isn’t creating chances, sh*t he doesn’t even look threatening. He got pocketed by Trippier who also had more successful dribbles than Hazard. YES EDEN HAZARD WAS OUT DRIBBLED BY A DEFENDER. Not even a good one either. (solid match yesterday Trippier no hard feelings) Honestly though could you imagine that same derby yesterday but Vinicius jr. out on that left wing, then shit maybe even sub Rodrygo in for him. You know the 2 f*cking teenagers we have that are currently outscoring Hazard anyway. The two teenagers who if you put their price tags together were still less than Hazard. Sh*t Rodrygo only has 19 minutes of playing time in La Liga AND STILL HAS MORE GOALS THAN HAZARD. HE IS ONLY 18 YEARS OLD.


Anyway I am getting worked up over here people so let me leave you with this. If Eden Hazard does not score over 20 goals in all competitions and I will say 15 assists. Then he was a complete flop, I think we should just sent Courtois and Hazard back to Chelsea and honestly ask for a refund, I don’t even care if its only a 75% refund I just want my money back. #Mbappe2020 am I right Madristas?maxresdefault.jpg

Written by: Anthony “Young Leg” Shopa (shopaaj)

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